Friday, October 12, 2007

Anger Management: Patience

“Patience is a Virtue”

Fine. I’ve heard about this like a thousand times, “Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue” WHAT THE HECK! Do people always have to stick to that Rule? How important is Virtue anyway? Is it more imperative than being honest to ones self?

I wish somebody could tell me that being right is better than being happy.

Generally speaking the echo of patience is vague. Many people say that being patient takes you somewhere you deserve, and the crops of it will shower you with infinite satisfaction. However, does this rule apply when people keeps on ditching you? Is this some kind of a yield for people to become so damn insensitive? A person that is patient enough gives other people the license to chuck him. I robustly deem to the fact that sometimes, or most of the time, a person becomes abusive of the things that are readily available to him/her. Only that, quandary launches when people become subjects of their own virtues. The intensity of one’s insensitivity is subject to befall to the consequences of patience and forgiveness.

Many times I’ve wondered if indeed there is a Dr. Buddy Rydell (Jack Nicholson’s character in Anger Management), wishing and hoping that I can get options or sort off redirection to divert all my antagonisms. I hardly ever lodge grudges against people, and if I did, it won’t even last a day. People hardly gets a NO from me, most of the time it’s either a YES or OKAY! It’s a weakness I am aware of, and it’s something I’ve been really trying to get rid. This is the kind of weakness people grab and take advantage. For the past months I’ve grown mature of the things and people around me. Getting a glimpse of whose who and who’s suppose to. I came to discern that a few people suddenly went off track because it seems I’m no longer that useful to them. Never the less, who cares…. THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR… but YES, that is also where it all hurts. Finding out the people who’s a part of your PRIORITY considers you to be just an OPTION. People say love friends UNCONDITIONALY, which means getting hurt is a part of the whole deal. However, does UNCONDITIONAL LOVE excuse friends from ditching you over and over again, and those who keep on breaking promises and telling lies? Often times the cut is deeper when it’s your friend who unintentionally stabs you from within.
I’ve been hurt a couple of times, I’ve been stabbed and was deprived to breath freely. I’ve been crying louder than a cat’s walk. Moments like this, makes me want to ask for an assurance that PATIENCE is a VIRTUE.

What is this VIRTUE for if deep inside I’m bleeding?
What difference it makes anyway?
Is having that Virtue far more important than having a sense of Euphoria?

à The definition of friendship is yet unrevealed for me. What’s clear is that I know and agree that friendship should always be unconditional. Never the less, I’m still bound for imperfection as all humans do. I love, get hurt, I trust, get betrayed, I’m patient, I get over used, in the end I leap to forgive and forget,,,,,, I leap to forgive and forget. Sooner or later I hope I collide with the genuine implication of patience as a virtue. Perhaps this is a part of my journey, to find out how it is to be human, yearning for perfection yet bound for imperfection.

“Forgive those who offense you seven times, but until Seventy times Seven Times”
Matthew 18.21:
“Whoever counts has not forgiven at all, but is only biding his or her time”
1 Co 13:5

Friday, October 5, 2007

Point Blank Excuses

This is just one of those days that my dopamine level seems to be excruciatingly low. I can’t work, I can’t sleep, and I am 0% productive. I attempt to brawl this moment of sentimentality, which in fact is idiopathic in nature, but all I get is a blank stare bouncing back at me.

I look around, finding things to explore yet I end up looking at stuffs that are not worth my time, or maybe just maybe, my disposition is irrevocably unpredictable. At times like this, my empty mind is crammed with thoughts that are unbearable and impossible, sometimes bizarre. Just like a person with an empty stomach, it makes you crave for food; you tend to satisfy your hunger at any expense. An empty mind works similar, you dash after any kind of information just to suit yourself, and chances are you become naïve. The intensity of this probability is manifested to such extent that occasionally you can’t limit yourself to possible discrepancies, thus, pushes you to become outrageous or indeed commendable.

Suddenly I came to a conclusion, sort off a confusion too, that unpleasant events are brought to us by people who doesn’t have anything to do. Take for example the outburst of recent issues concerning ANTI-FILIPINO statements from American TV sitcoms. I’m kind of perplexed if such statements are acceptable regardless of its intent and genuine gist, somehow questioning the factors that led those people to express such unbearable statements. I’m beginning just to consider the idea that perhaps people responsible to such statements were out of their mind. Maybe they didn’t have anything else to say or do so they bent their frustrations to people who they think are a lesser threat. People like them are those who have an empty head and heart, they become insensitive just to add fame to there name.

I am always open to the actuality that there is always a negative and a constructive effect of comings and goings. However, what we people are ought to do is to prevent that negative effect to take place. We should have that sense of responsibility to limit ourselves and shun from becoming disgraceful. People always have the option to make their actions tolerable; we cannot always blame being contemptible to such mindless excuses. Finding ourselves at point blank will neither never be an excuse, being naïve is certainly being youthful too, and just like kids we should submit to the morals of society quantifying our actions in terms of what is extremely right and wrong.