On my younger days I’ve had the notion that friends will be there no matter what. I’ve always believe that friendship is something that makes one very vulnerable yet brings the best out of everything. On the other hand, we cannot measure friendship by the years you’ve known each other, or by being comfortable on each other’s arms, friendship is unbeaten when in fact you are able to adapt changes and stay united regardless of the circumstances.
All of us have a different definition of a real friendship, some say that true friends are those who save you from being the bad guy, some say true friends are those who join you and be a bad guy as well. Either ways, you can be both. Becoming a true friend doesn’t depend on what you do for you’re friends, but merely by your sincerity to stick with them and be there through thick and thin. Let’s face it, FRIENDS will not be there 24/7, there will be moments where you have to do things by yourself, but what friends are ought to do is to make you feel secure and confident on their absence. Friends should make you feel that even if you’re alone and down there is a guarantee that they will back you up on the edge of pandemonium.
However when you’ve been too attached to your friends, tendencies are you become dependent and secure. Thus, being too dependent and secure will eventually make you half the person you should be. By the time that your other half (FRIEND) moves out of the frame, you are paralyzed. Just like any other relationships the inability to cope with change will stress you out; it establishes some kind of chaos. Friendship is exceptionally different from any other kinds of relationships. When friends hurt you the pain is 10 times stronger, chances are, it will break that last piece of who you are.
Lately I came to notice that at a snail's pace my closest friends’ are out of boarder. I hardly ever see or talk to them.
“Hey What’s up? I miss you!”
“What happened to you? I’ve been really worried about you since the last time we talked”
“Hoy Buhay ka pa?”
“Alis naman tayo”
This is not a kind of MISCOMMUNICATION; it is rather a NO COMMUNICATION SET UP. In friendship COMMUNICATION is very important, it doesn’t matter if you say dreadful words, what matters is that you give your friend the benefit of the doubt. SILENCE speaks a thousand words, at the same time it may drown you to confusion. I respect that sometimes SILENCE and SPACE is needed to give a friend a room to breathe or think about his/her own problems in life, but it doesn’t give you the license to go on your own and leave your friends hanging in the air. You could at least give them time to prepare themselves that they are on there own. I beg to disagree to the ever famous excuse “Sorry, I’ve been busy”, friends always find time to reach out. The failure to eventually do it will mitigate the foundations of friendship.
Before you know it that BESTFRIEND YOU USED TO HAVE SUDDENLY BECOMES JUST AN AQUINATANCE (a person you just know)
In situations like this some people will just say “GIVE IT TIME, maybe he/she is in despair, be PATIENT, you have deeper understanding”. The problem sometimes is a product of being too sheltered that whatever you do, you know friends will do understand. The truth is, most of the time they don’t, most of the time they just PRETEND to appreciate the whole thing, most of the time they deny that there is in fact a gap in between those SILENCE”
“Pretending will never be effective for me, a couple of friends are gradually giving me enough reason to hibernate, and I’m starting to grow sick and tired of being overlooked. I’m beginning to feel that some people value friendship like toys, they abandon you when they find something better. I know I cannot give the world to my friends, and I’m pretty sure I’m not enough to satisfy all their comforts and luxury in life, I can neither guarantee them a 24/7 company nor stop the world from making them cry but I’m sure I will stick with them through thick and thin, through good times and bad times, through heaven and hell. And even if I come to meet new people who can feel the gaps, I will never trade my old friends. Friends may dump me or leave me; they can even pull the trigger towards me, but dumping them will never be on my vocabulary, they will always be on top of my list, they will always remain as the people who made the hell and best of who I am. The foundations of my whole being are strengthened by those people who came and go and especially by those who stayed.”