Friday, February 6, 2009
“How do you know you’re in love?—you feel sick.”
You suffer a strange act of insanity and you’ll never know on what grounds. Conversely, this is just the tip of the iceberg, there’s more than that.
Researchers say that falling in love and being in love is just a temporary state. It doesn’t stay there for long; ultimately it’s the friendship that’s sustaining the relationship after the falling stage comes off. When we’re in love we feel miserable, we feel insane and we feel walking on the edges of euphoria. The sense of being miserable comes from wondering what happens next, when you’ll talk again or simply longing to see the person again—simply centered on ‘again’. Usually this happens during courtship or when couples are still dating. In the long run, the supernatural comes off because by the time you feel confident enough about each other’s agenda you’ll think more about the person more than the feeling.
There are some cases when people tend to miss the magical part of the relationship. It’s either they jumpstarted to bed right away or simply ignored the enchantment subsequently realizing that the person already got into their system like a poison and can’t get it off no matter what.
On the other hand, is it really possible to bypass this stage? Is it possible for us to ignore the feeling of falling in love?
Studies show that the brain acts in the same manner during lust and love; this explains why the mood of pleasure during one night stands is perfectly similar to feeling in love. Neuroscience studies claim that during love and sexual activities the brain speeds up the transmission of dopamine, norephinephrine, and serotonin. These neurochemicals are responsible for the miserable sensation of euphoria and temporary insanity and obsession. The chemistry of these neurons is involuntary; it’s not as easy as dictating to them to stop and slow down. Thus, this explains why lust and love are simply irresistible.
We can always choose not to love. It’s our prerogative. However, once we agree to love and allow those neurochemicals to spread around our upper lobes, you know what it means, there is no turning back. Our mind is the single most powerful thing in the world---“it is bigger than the sky”—it controls our destiny. Problems start in the mind and ends in the mind—“It’s all in the mind”. To control is not a problem, but to avoid falling in love is something. Avoidance comes out of fear. We fear the consequences of love that might not progress, we fear the cost of failure but most of all we fear pain. “Escaping from things that cultures pain may seem overwhelming, but with pain comes pleasure. Being in love is not just about the misery, but being superlatively happy. Pain, failure and misery are all part of it. After all this are the things that drive us to be better and cautious on the process of getting into a commitment. There is no freedom from pain, but we can choose to battle pain yet happy along the way. Go ahead and tolerate your urge to dance under the influence of your dopamines and to love/be loved under the spell of euphoria.
Life is short, SIEZE THE DAY!
“Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.” –Sigmund Freud.
Credits to LG's writings and AnDi. :-D