Moving on: Nerves over Pulses

We all know that not all relationships work. At one point or the other, it doesn’t work out the way we expect it to be, it suddenly falls short. At the end of all relationships who knows where and how to start; or factually speaking how do we end it once and for all. How do we know when it is really over, how do we move on?

Many people are having a tough time moving on from relationship break ups. It’s as if it is the end of the world for them. People don’t often recognize the reality that break ups are part of relationships and life. We seldom appreciate the fact that these kinds of crisis make us grow and be better persons or partners indeed. To eventually surpass a break up, one should stop thinking that what is common to the world is unique to the person. Certainly couples break up with different reasons in such different ways, yet the feeling is mutual for everybody, there is a pinch or punch of pain. Moving on from break-ups is not as easy from what I know, but we have to acknowledge that most of the time some good things come to an end. Never the less, we have an option to make good things happen again, and that starts simply when we get over the things that already came to an end.

But then again how do we start?

The first step to getting over is that we have to step beyond denials. We have to recognize the truth that the relationship has already ended. Once details are accepted, we then have to start conditioning ourselves about wanting to move on and forget about the person. The determination of the person to move on is in fact the Golden Rule of Getting over. Actions towards something are always initiated by the willpower of the person to eventually act on it. However this does not save you from having ‘visions of what used to be’. There will always be instances where one encounters memories of what went on the course of the relationship. Events like this are normal, but it doesn’t mean that we should not act on it. The best management to such things is to habitually question one’s self why such emotions and memories arise. You have to source out the roots of such feelings and visions. Answers to such questions will lead you to the right direction, and finally makes you discover more about yourself, how you can be stronger and be more efficient on your next relationship. The last thing which is also important in getting over is that we have to talk it out. We have to let go of such thoughts and emotions that are spinning on our head. We should keep in mind, that unspoken words mean repressed emotions. Thus, such emotions will hamper you to let go of such bitterness.

Until then we have to understand that moving on literally means to look forward.
The things that we should always remember when moving on is that we have to put aside the heart and let the brain do the move.

Now, does this give us the assurance that we are ready for a new relationship?

No. Getting over someone is not a warrant that we are ready to enter a new commitment. Getting over someone only means that we have accepted that our previous relationship with them has truly ended. Only that most of the time, people tend to divert their bitterness to the person towards love. Thus, it becomes a baggage on the next relationship. This baggage contains a room for comparison. Our bitterness towards love makes us hold back because of fear that such painful event will happen again. Until we learn to set free this bitterness; that will only be the time that we are assured ready to be in a relationship again.

A friend once said “Hate the person, but not love” simple words, yet, powerful in meaning. Once you start hating love, it’s a package deal. You then start to lose that sense of identity, because you will eventually forget how to love and trust yourself. And unless you don’t know how to love yourself, it will hinder you to love other people.

If you find it too difficult too resolve problems, it is always effective to consult the heart but let the brain do the move.